Moore Cowbell | 2-1W/L | 324PF​

Week Three Points: 110.5​

Bring back kickers.

My team continues to consistently put up big numbers as a unit, with individual contributors varying week-to-week. Stafford is a top-5 QB as he finally change out the big D for vitamin D. It turns out that Ja’Marr chase was sandbagging during the preseason, much to my relief. But really, I’m being buoyed by Travis Kelce and the Saints’ defense, both playing at the peak of their powers currently. There could be trouble on the horizon if my RBs don’t find some level of consistency, but currently the outlook is 75 and sunny, just like it is for my boy Stafford. My team’s soulfood is currently the avocado toast fueling Matt Stafford’s LA renaissance.

Zeke Squad | 2-0W/L | 244PF​

Week Two Points: 127.9​

JOHN CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS. CRAMSEY, WHY DID YOU TRADE WITH JOHN?

Fresh Prince of Helaire | 1-0W/L | 117PF​

Week One Points: 117​

Much like K-State against a typical, laughably bad OOC schedule, Chris is once again looking good at the start of the season. Unfortunately, Southern Illinois looked more competitive against the Wildcats than I did against Cramsey. This roster looks good from top to bottom. I didn’t think he’d part ways with Mahomes, but his team still looks elite without him. With a couple of bench spots freeing up, I expect this deep team to get deeper.

Uncle Cral’s Little Dogs | 0-0W/L | 0PF​

Week Zero Points: 0​

Carl is good where it counts and weak where it doesn’t. This is exactly what you want from your fantasy team. He’s got three starting RBs that are likely to be workhorses for their teams (Henry/Robinson/Edwards), one of the few elite TE options in Waller, and he’s got a roster full of receivers that shouldn’t have any problems putting up consistent points. The QB situation here is interesting. Burrow is coming off an injury, and his receivers have had a shakeup, getting rid of Green and bringing in Chase in the draft. They have struggled a bit in the preseason, but either they’ll fix those issues, or Carl can pivot to another QB without much issue. He is set up with a balance, high-upside squad to start the year.

🏆‼️ | 4-2W/L | 632PF​

Week Six Points: 95.8​

[Tarv] is coming for that Waiver Wire Gawd title.

Thanks to K-Man’s beautiful spreadsheet, we can now look at simulated records for the league this year and see that Travis would still have a top team under almost any schedule. Not only is he putting up consistently high scores, having his worst week of the season still at a respectable 90, but he’s also got a bunch of the high potential players on his roster. Losing Miles Sanders to injury for a few weeks isn’t great. But Josh Allen locks down a roster with newly broken out players: Kenyan Drake, D’Andre Swift, Travis Fulgham, and Christian Kirk. This team looks like they’ll just keep winning.

FEED ME 🥄 | 4-1W/L | 569PF​

Week Five Points: 101.64​

I don’t watch ankle injuries.

Rough week to be a Cowboys fan, but on the bright side, Mark was able to snap Tarv’s winning streak just like… like… damn, I can’t think of an apt metaphor. Losing Dak hurts Mark’s team, especially since his team is Cowboys lite. But, with Dallas’s D/ST being awful, the offense will have to score to keep up, and he still has their number one weapon. Pair that with Mark getting Dak’s replacement in the form of a scrub 2015 MVP, quality receivers, and a strong bench. Mark is number one until he isn’t.

THIS GUY SLEEPS AT HEB | 3-1W/L | 460PF​

Imagine dropping a 150-burger with CMC and Mahomes on the bench. Spooky SZN is here.

My goodness, the king is back. Even without Patrick Mahomes and Christian McCaffrey, this dude yeeted Trondheim into oblivion with a season-high 155 points. Kareem Hunt is looking like the steal of the draft right now with Nick Chubb out for a significant amount of time. Jerrick McKinnon is reliable. I can’t find a weakness here. Clearly, the football gods have accepted the Arkansas State sacrifice because everything is going Crams’s way now.

🏆‼️ | 2-0W/L | 239PF​

Week Two Points: 139.7​

There’s a new number one team in town. Tarv’s team looks excellent from top to bottom right now. Alexa, play Back to Back by Drake.

Manhattan (KS) Miracles | 1-0W/L | 99PF​

Chris’s team is just going to be this good all year. Barring an injury to Mahomes or CMC, this team is practically a playoff lock. Even if that did happen, we just saw Amari Cooper get 14 targets. While Chark wasn’t as involved in the Jags week one win, Minshew looked terrific. To top all that off, Kareem Hunt had 17 touches for the Browns, about as much as you can ask for out of a flex player. Not only is the team top-heavy, but they are middle-heavy too. Nowhere to go but down from here.

Manhattan (KS) Miracles | 1-0W/L | 98PF​

Cramsey cashed in all his football karma to beat me in both this league and the golf league. Unfortunately, because of this, K-State got torched by Arkansas State. Chris’s team underperformed and still got a hundo points. Patrick Mahomes had a down game of 20 points. With Kareem Hunt and Melvin Gordon trending up, this team absolutely terrifies me.